Keeping Up With the Texans

Ed's brother is getting married in Austin on Saturday. Although I've met his immediate family several times and even most of his extended family (there aren't many of them), I'm still a bit nervous showing up as The Girlfriend. Of course, this event is hardly about me, but I feel obligated to make a good impression friends and family I haven't yet met, and even the ones I've met but I don't yet know well. What's a girl to do to improve her chances of unanimous approval? Well, for one thing, folks in Texas are fans of bronzing, and I was determined not to show up looking as lily white as usual, particularly given that the dress I'll be wearing shows lots of arms and back. So I decided to try something I've always been curious about and booked a session at a spray tanning place. Ed decided to tag along, more out of curiousity than anything.

I found a place that was very highly rated and in our neighborhood, and last night we showed up for our appointment. The whole place consisted of a waiting room and one spraying room, and that was it. A friendly woman named April let us in and chatted to us while her previous client was "drying" behind a closed door in the other room. Then it was my turn. April directed me to stand on a sheet in front of a folding screen, handed me a skimpy pair of disposable underwear and a shower cap, and directed me to take everything off, including jewelry. She returned a few minutes later to find me, almost naked as the day I was born, decked out in decidedly strange looking garb. The application of the pigment took a little more than five minutes. I had to move my arms and legs around and hold various positions while she sprayed brown mist and lots of cold air all over me. Apparently this place uses its own all-natural formula, containing beets and sugar and I'm not sure what all else. When I was browned, she told me to keep my arms out and stand in front of a few fans. I rotated so that I'd dry all over, and read a list of don'ts. I was not to let any part of me get wet, apply lotion, or get a manicure/pedicure that involved soaking of hands or feet until 8 hours had passed. I was also not to sweat profusely for the duration of my "tan" (usually 5-7 days according to the poster) or do much swimming, or it would fade faster. After a few minutes, April told me I was done, so I dressed in the loose-fitting, dark dress I'd brought (sans bra, as directed by April) and went to wait for Ed.

The results were interesting. Initially, it seemed quite dark, though after this morning's shower (which was to be water only with no soap, and to last until the water stopped being brown and ran clear) it seems better and I'm actually quite pleased with it. I'm not sure it'll last quite as long as I'd hoped. Ed's skin seems to be holding on to the color better than mine is, though there was a very large orangey-brown stain on his pillowcase. I'm definitely darker than I was, though, and I like it. This morning I jogged to the gym and lifted weights, trying to keep the sweating at a minimum, though it's tough to do that and get in much of a workout. I'm not sure that I would do this again. It was expensive for only 5-7 days' worth of color, and I'm not going to be able to go that long without sweating profusely or avoiding the pool in the future; I'd miss my exercise routine too much. I think that if I'm feeling the need to tone down the pale, I'll go back to good old Jergens self-tanning lotion. It takes a bit more effort, but it gets the job done.

Without further ado, the results:

Can you guess which one the "before" shot and which is the "after"? (Note: It is MUCH less orange in person than it appears in this picture. The color my chest appears here is an accurate representation of how it looks all over.)

The experience was not without mishaps. I put my watch back on after being sprayed last night, and this morning woke up with a darker brown line where my watchband sits. Guess I'll be wearing lots of bracelets this weekend...