Take that, whitey.

Below, observe country music star Taylor Swift:

At Heritage on Tuesday, two of my favorite girls had an urgent, whispered conversation punctuated with swift glances in my direction and audible repetitions of "Should we tell her?" Spidey Senses a-tingling, I sauntered over and asked them what on earth had them so worked up. "Miss," said Negla, "You know who Taylor Swift is?" My pop culture IQ qualifies me as severely handicapped, yet trainable. I replied that I'd heard of her somewhere, for some reason. "You know what she looks like, Miss?" Negla pressed. I replied in the negative. "You look like her," Negla proclaimed, Chelsea nodding emphatically at her side.

Now Ms. Swift is an undeniably attractive young lady, and I can't say that I was particularly offended by this comparison (after Googleing her later that afternoon to find out who the hell she was, of course). However, claiming that I look like her is, putting it mildly, a stretch.

There's an age-old stereotype that all Asians look alike. So, some say, do all black people. And Mexicans. And Indians. And (insert additional non-white groups here). Heritage doesn't have a single white student. Could it be that minorities think we all look alike? I guess there aren't that many white people running around their neighborhoods, and maybe the similarity is more striking to them than it is to me.

I'm just grateful that, if my students do indeed fail to see major differences between white people, they didn't point out my striking resemblance to Chelsea Clinton, or a pre-Trim Spa Anna Nicole Smith.