With a birthday fast approaching, I'm sensitive to terminology like "old" and "outdated." I mean, age happens, and no amount of effort is going to allow one to keep up with the younger generation. Time batters, damages, and slows performance, while the newbies are sleek, fast, and sophisticated. Of course I'm not talking about myself, here. (I'm still quite a spring chicken, right? Right?!) I refer to my long-serving, faithful, hopelessly inefficient BlackBerry.
Yes friends, I am the proud owner of an iPhone 4S. This thing is so cool I don't even know where to begin. It's lightning fast. It has a great system for navigation. I can control the music on my computer from the other side of my apartment with my phone. It's gorgeous. Possibly the coolest feature, however, is Siri, the voice activation system. Now Siri isn't perfect and doesn't always know what I'm after. But I can press a button and give a command ("call Mom, mobile," or "text Dave," or "play 'Pink Floyd'") and my wish is her command. Not only this, I can dictate web searches simply by asking a question ("Is there a Banana Republic in this neighborhood?" or "What temperature should I set my oven to roast carrots?") and a Google search will be launched without my having to type a thing. Best of all, I can dictate text messages. Instead of typing, I just say what I want it to type, give the resulting words a quick proofread (a friend once dictated "I'm having brunch with Ed" to his phone, did not proofread, and ending up sending "I'm having brunch with an infant") and hit "send." The only slightly quirky thing about this is that I have to dictate punctuation if I want any. Lately, I've been saying things like, "Yes comma I know it will be crowded comma but that's the earliest I can possibly get there exclamation point," and "What question mark I thought you hadn't talked to her yet period." Still, small price to pay, as this is much faster and easier than typing.
There are obviously a lot of other cool features I could gush about, but this transition hasn't been entirely easy. I have found a company that will buy my BlackBerry and either refurbish it and donate it to a good cause or recycle its parts if it can't be reused. I mean, there is literally nothing to lose here. They will even send me free, customized instructions for wiping all my data permanently from my old phone before I send it in. And yet... It's still hard to let go. I mean, we've been together a long time. We've kind of gotten used to each other. I saved its life once after it was doused in sugary tea (which was, admittedly, totally my fault). Things between us didn't work out - if I'm being honest with myself, I knew it was a doomed relationship from the start - but I learned a lot. In a weird way, I'll miss the grainy pictures I used to take with its camera, and the way the trackball used to stick. It seemed to fit more solidly in my hand, somehow, than its younger, perkier replacement. I'm actually still using it as an alarm clock so it won't feel left out when it's the iPhone I reach for again and again. I know I'm stringing it along by prolonging this. It's only fair that I make a clean break and let it go free so it can find someone else to have a meaningful connection with. Funny that I couldn't wait to replace it, and now I can't stand to see it go.
Breaking up is hard to do.
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